Fellowship Across the Universe Book 1
by 2nightisthenight
Summary: Simple, one of those 'modern girl finds herself in M.E' stories but there will be no 'falling from the sky' hoopla, so don't panic! Haters gonna hate, but keep any hating to yourself, thank you :3 DISCLAIMER: If I owned any of it, would the word 'disclaimer' be in this summary?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter might suck a little, but it's always tough getting started, right? You might've noticed it's called 'Book 1'...Well, it is what the title implies! I meant to put the banner I made for 'Book 1' up on DeviantArt with the other but, it won't let me log in DX Well whatever, enjoy!**

It began with an ungodly banging on Megan Gardners' door.

"Hey Sissy! Time to get up!"

"Coming Katie, ya don't have to knock down my damn door!" She yelled back.

"Just get out here! If we're late for school, you'll pay for it. Stella said so!"

Megan mumbled and sat up. The sun was shining in through her window, falling across her bed and warming her legs from underneath the blanket. She drug herself out of the bed and staggered to the bathroom.

After getting dressed and sweeping her long dark hair into a ponytail, she and the other girls she shared a place with piled in Stellas' car.

"Giirrrl, you need to get up earlier!" Stella Hall said from the drivers' seat. Her dark brown skin shone in the sunlight, or Megans' eyes were blurring from fatigue.

"Yeah yeah, I know." Was all she said.

"You must not just know, you must do!" Said Katie in the backseat. Megans' little sister knew her remark would make her smile.

"Yeah, we shouldn't be late just 'cause you're a lazybones!" Her cousin Kendra laughed from beside Katie.

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They dropped Kendra and Katie off at their school before Stella turned into the lane to take her and Megan to university. "You ok Megs?" She asked.

"Yeah, just tired. Think I'll take a walk around the campus before class starts."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure leaving an hour before, with only a ten minute drive, will leave me enough time for a fifteen minute walk." Megan laughed.

"Hey! One day you'll thank me for those few minutes, when you need for a quick nap or makeup check!" Stella said in mock-offense.

"Of course I will Stells. Just let me off here, see you at lunch!" Megan said as she opened the car door. As she walked away, Stella rolled down her window and yelled,

"Be careful out there! Lotta psychos, and that rinky-dink stun gun can only do so much!"

Megan waved in response, slinging her heavy messenger bag over her shoulder as she started her walk. The path ran just outside campus grounds, the university on the left, a wood on the right. Not many people were walking the path that day, and Megan got nervous. She unconsiously wrapped her hand around the stun gun her dad gave her when she moved out.

"Hey sweetie, where you goin'?"

Megan stopped. In front of her was a guy she'd never seen before. Wearing a ski hat and baggy clothes, he looked like anyone who lived around. But the fact he was talking to her on a deserted walkway immediately put her on alert.

"Just, y'know, on a walk." She was too scared to try and walk past him. He didn't look like just a local anymore, he looked like a predator.

"How about we get outta here, Sugar?" He smirked, sending a shiver up her spine.

"Don't call me Sugar." She held the stun gun behind her back and switched it on.

"C'mon Baby, I just wanna be friends. Don't you wanna be my friend?" He asked as he roughly grabbed her upper arm. Quick as a bee sting, She stuck the stun gun between his ribs and held the button. The man jerked and convulsed as he stood until she let off the button and ran-straight into the forest.

"YOU BITCH! COME BACK HERE!" Megan didn't stop as she ran deeper into the woods. When she finally stumbled to a tree and leaned against it, trying to catch her breath, she heard heavy footfalls behind her. And not as far away as she'd like.

So she ran. As she came upon a giant oak tree, her heart hammered in her chest. She dove behind it until the mans' footsteps stopped in front of it.

"Here, kitty kitty kitty.." He taunted.

A twig snapped from somewhere behind her. The man jumped in front of her and lunged. She ducked and ran towards the noise, mainly out of sheer panic. She sobbed as she ran, hearing nothing but her erratic heartbeat and feeling nothing but adrenaline pumping through her veins. So she did not see where she was going.

"Who goes there?" Demanded a strange voice. Megan only stumbled and tripped, staying where she fell and trying to control her breathing.

"Are you alright? Look at me, girl!" Megan looked up. The person speaking was an old man with a walking stick. No, an old man wearing a blue hat and grey cloak, with a walking stick.

"T-thanks. Where am I? Where's that guy?" She could hardly get the words out. The man looked at her a moment and said,

"The man who was chasing you has gone. I don't know where, but we're alone. And safe. I am Gandalf the Grey. Might I ask your name?"

Megans' line of vision was clouded over with bright dots of every color, so what the old man said didn't really sink in right away. "Megan Gardner. I was just walking...and..."

"Say no more. You can rest here with me tonight. And if you'd like, I'm on my way to-" Megan didn't hear what he said next, because she collapsed from exhaustion.

**P.S If you want to see the other banner, please go to my profile! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

** Cheerio! 3**

Megan was woken up by the prod of a stick in her side.

"Mmm, I'm getting up!" She complained.

"I should hope so, we must get moving if we're to make it to Hobbiton by late morning!"

Megan sat up in alarm. Everything that happened yesterday came back like a tidal wave, and she stared at the old man as his words sunk in.

"Where...am I?" She asked stupidly. The old man looked at her.

"Inside the borders of the Shire, almost as far west in Middle Earth as you can go. Why?"

"Because this is insane! I can't be in Middle Earth, it isn't real!" Megan jumped up and started pacing. Trying to think of an explanation that didn't involve fictionus characters talking and breathing and existing.

"If I'm not real, then tell me how you're still here. In this place, with an old wizard who was kind enough to keep watch as you slept. Look there, in the distance! That is smoke from someone's chimney, which means houses. If this were not real, could you not smell the food cooking on our own fire? Like it or not, we are where we are. And we are in Middle Earth. Where else would we be?"

"Then I guess you're really..." She paused as she tried to remember who he said he was. "Gandalf? Really? That-that's awesome! Thank you, for last night I mean."

"Not at all! Well eat up, we haven't got all day!" The food looked good, but she only ate a little. She still had trouble believing she was here, but 'Eliminate the improbable and whatever's left, however impossible, must be the truth.' So for now she'd at least pretend this was real.

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"Wow, this place is gorgeous!" Megan spun in place as they made their way down the path. Gandalf chuckled at her reaction.

"I must ask, are you a warrior of some kind?" He asked suddenly.

"Pardon?"

"Your clothes, I couldn't help but notice that you're on a 'response team' of some sort." He gestured at her t-shirt. It was black and said 'Zombie Response Team' in bright green. Along the bottom the words 'Decapitate, Incinerate, Obliterate' could be seen in bold white letters.

She'd forgotten all about her getup. "I-I guess you can say that..."

"Either I can say it or I can't, there will be no guesswork if I can help it!"

"Y-yes sir. Well, you can say it then." Internally she kicked herself. The last thing she needed was for everyone to think she was some kind of badass.

The further they went, the more people they came across. Small, big-footed people with cheery faces. "Hobbits." Megan whispered.

"And quite a decent lot, wouldn't you say?" Gandalf said as they started going uphill. "Just a little way up here lives a very respectable Hobbit. He's the one we're going to see."

At this Megan began to wonder _when_ in M.E. she was. She was just about to ask the wizard when he stopped at the top of the hill. A young Hobbit was sitting on a little bench outside his hobbit-hole. His eyes were closed after blowing a big smoke ring from his pipe.

"_The Hobbit_ it is then." Megan said to herself as Gandalf turned the smoke ring into a smoke butterfly, which then flew right into the Hobbits' face.

The Hobbit stared at her and Gandalf in confusion, then, "Good morning."

"What do you mean?" Asked the wizard. "Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or that it is good whether I want it or not? Or maybe you feel good on this paticular morning, or you're saying it is a morning to be good on?"

"All of them at once, I suppose. Can I help you?"

"That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share an adventure."

Megan stopped listening, gazing in wonder at the Hobbit village. She wished Katie could see this. At the thought of her sister, she began to worry. She imagined Katie and her parents were frantically calling the police and putting up posters.

"...Think it'll be good for you, and most amusing for me. Oh! I forgot, Megan, please introduce yourself to Mr. Baggins."

Snapping back to the present, she smiled at the Hobbit. She bent down to shake his hand. "Megan Gardner. Hope we aren't disturbing anything Mr. Baggins." She said as politely as she knew how.

"Please, call me Bilbo. Are you traveling with him?" He asked, gesturing to Gandalf. Before she could answer, the wizard did it for her.

"No, I rescued her yesterday. And now my hands are full having to watch her! She doesn't know these parts, could she stay with you tonight while I tell the others?"

"T-the others?" Megan and Bilbo said at the same time. She didn't want to meet anyone else right now, it would mean this was real. And she wanted to pretend a little longer.

"No no, we don't want any adventures here!" Bilbo raised his voice to show he meant it. "Maybe you could try Over the Hill, or Across the Water...Good morning!" And with that he slammed his round little door shut.

Megan and the wizard were silent for a while, then she had to ask. "What about me? Since I'm such a handful and everything."

Gandalf went up to Bilbos' door and started to scratch a mark into it as he answered her. "Well, give him a moment, then knock and ask to come in. Even go so far as to say that you're starving, you hardly ate anything today!"

As if in answer to his statement, Megans' stomach growled so loud that Gandalf turned and looked at her a little too smug for her liking.

"Oh all right! I hope you know what you're getting me into!" She said a little too defensively. But the old wizard just laughed as he made his way back down they path they came.

Heaving a heavy sigh, she wondered what she could do while 'giving him a moment'. Suddenly she spotted a small group of young hobbits playing a game similar to soccer. She was feeling restless so she went up to them and asked, "Hey guys, can I play?"

**m baaaack! Has anyone even been reading this? If so, you are awesome & PM me please so I can bounce ideas off you & vice versa if you like. It's a little (ok a lot) shorter than I wanted it to be, but be patient please, I'm slowing up. And trying to get out something as good as Magical Meg (see profile)**


	3. Chapter 3

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After about an hour, Megan went and sat on Bilbos' bench. Most of the hobbit kids had gone home by then, so she was catching her breath and taking in the sights from the Hill.

It was then she spotted a young (but not too young) Hobbit-girl sitting and crying in the road a little ways down the path. Megan immediately got up to see what was the matter.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

The Hobbit -girl sniffled and looked up. "That Drogo Baggins! He's so mean!"

"Want me to go talk to him? My name is Megan, what's yours?"

"Primula. He's over there with his friends, I'd be awfully grateful if you could tell him to leave me alone! He might listen to you." She pointed, and Megan spotted the young Baggins. She figured she was talking to Primula Brandybuck. Someday, she knew they would get married and have a son, Frodo. Also she knew she must handle this with care, if that were to happen!

So she went up to the small group of young (but not too young) Hobbit-boys. "Yo! Which one of ya'll is Drogo Baggins?" She asked, letting her southern twang seep into her voice. She hoped this would communicate that they didn't want to mess with her.

A black-haired Hobbit-boy stepped forward. "What can I do for you, Ma'am?" He asked politely.

"You can be nice to Primula, for starters." At this Megan crossed her arms. "I don't wanna hear about why you did whatever you did, but making a girl cry is the worst excuse! If you don't apologize_ right now_, I'll go tell your cousin Bilbo that he should have a talk with your parents!"

Any other child from her home world would've laughed in her face. But Drogo looked genuinely scared, Megan guessed that his parents expected him to be a gentlemen at all times. Especially to a lady.

"I-I'll apologize right away, please don't tell my father!" He said in a slightly squeaky voice.

Megan relented. "As long as you say sorry to her, your dad won't hear a word. I swear."

The young Baggins ran off in the direction of Primula as his friends snickered. Megan turned to look sternly at them, and they clamped their mouths shut at the sight of this Big Persons' glare. "I wouldn't make fun if I were you," She warned. "you're next!" She pointed to a random Hobbit-boy with light brown hair. They nodded and rushed off, and Megan went back towards Bilbos' house.

Megan retrieved her messenger bag from where she'd stowed it under the bench before playing with the kids. Taking a deep breath, she went and rang the bell at Bilbos' door.

He poked his head out to see who it was. "Megan, is it? Is Gandalf still here?" He whispered.

"Haha, no. He ditched me, and now I got nowhere to go. I'm very sorry Bilbo, but could I spend just the night here? Tomorrow I'll make my way home, but I'm beat. I promise not to be a pain!"

He opened his door wide, a sign of welcome. "Not at all! I just didn't want to be wrapped up in any adventure! Please come in! It's about time for elevensies!"

Megan had forgotten how hungry she was! Her stomach rumbled loudly, and it echoed through the Hobbits' little house. Bilbo turned to stare at her with a confused look. Several seconds passed before Megan finally broke the ice. "Sorry. Gandalf kinda starved me!" At this her and Bilbo chuckled.

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They spent almost the whole day talking. Bilbo seemed very curious about where his visitor came from. "Another world? Is it a lot like this one or is it...different?"

Megan thought about that carefully before she answered. "Well, pretty much radically different. But I won't bore you with many details. The people are waaay more rude though, even the children. Not to mention the air is filthy, compared to this place."

"I can't begin to imagine! But I must ask, did you bring anything from your world? Not to be rude of course!"

"No, it's ok to ask. Let's see...aha!" She brought out her Trio T4 MP3 player. "This handy little device plays music, here, let's find something..." She trailed off as she turned it on and selected 'Moonlight Serenade' by Glenn Miller. Her and Bilbo sat and listened to the soft music for a while as they finished their food. When it was done, the Hobbit stood up.

"That was lovely! Now please, make yourself at home while I fix some bathwater for you. So you can relax."

"Oh Bilbo, you shouldn't have to-"

"Nonsense! It's the least I can do for my guest!" Bilbo waved his hand dismissively.

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It was a little awkward, getting into a Hobbit-sized tub when you're a full-grown woman in your early twenties. But somehow Megan managed. She unplugged her headphones and turned the music all the way up as she tried to relax. As it was getting dark, she was in the middle of washing her hair the best she could. Slowly she began to sing along with 'Top of the world' by The Carpenters. She had just rinsed her hair when the door opened.

"So this is the bathroom-" Said a voice. Megan looked up at two dwarves, one blonde and one with dark hair. Their eyes widened when they caught sight of her in the tub.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Megan and the dwarves screamed, her throwing a towel (Hobbit-sized) over her body and the dwarves trying to fit through the door at the same time.

The door slammed, and Megan tried to calm her breathing. "Well, I guess it's time to get out!" She mumbled.

After she got out, she went through her bag. Her and the other girls had been planning a sleepover at Stellas' grandmas'. So thankfully she had stuffed her bag (almost to bursting) with clothes and other useful things. Toiletries, hair care, entertainment. So she pulled on her panda pajamas and went to see what her host was up to.

Dwarves. Everywhere. Poor Bilbo was gazing sadly at the state of his pantry. The dwarves were having a belching contest, and the one that Megan reconized as Ori won.

Bilbo sighed, then turned around.

"Don't look at me, I didn't invite 'em!" Was the first thing Megan said.

"I know. It was Gandalf." Bilbo then went to have a talk with said wizard. First things first though, he had to snatch one of his doilies from a dwarf.

"But it's full o' holes!" Said another dwarf. Megan almost danced, it was Bofur!

"it's crotchet." Bilbo replied.

"And a good game that," Bofur said. "if you got the balls for it!" Everyone in earshot laughed.

Bilbo then found Gandalf, and Megan decided to listen in. "...Don't _want_ to get used to them! _I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"_

"Excuse me," Said Ori politely. "I don't mean to interuppt, but what should I do with my plate?"

"Here Ori, give it to me!" A dwarf with blonde hair took the plate. He stopped when he saw Megan, and they both blushed.

Before he could say anything, she said, "Don't mention it. It's fine, really."

He nodded gratefully before tossing the plate to his brother, who still couldn't look Megan in the eye. So she just stood in awe as the dwarves tossed the dishes to each other without dropping anything.

"You hear that lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur said meaningfully from the table.

Blunt the knives

Bend the forks...

The dwarf Megan knew to be Kili began. Soon the others joined in.

Smash the bottle & burn the corks

Chip the glasses & crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Megan and Gandalf stood and watched happily while Bilbo proceeded to have a mini-freak out about his things.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

So carefully! carefully with the plates!

Megan wrapped up. The dwarves cheered her on as there was a banging on the door.

"He's here." Gandalf said. Megan huddled behind the dwarves without knowing why. As the door was opened, there stood a regal-looking dwarf.

"Gandalf." He said as he stepped inside. "I thought you said this house was easy to find. I wouldn't have if there was no mark on the door."

As Bilbo started to say there was no mark, the newcomers' gaze landed on Megan. She gulped, but stood up straight and did a curtsy like a proper southern girl should, and said,

"How do you do Sir?"

The dwarf smiled. Gandalf did the introductions. "Bilbo, Megan, this is Thorin Oakenshield."

Megan immediately went to shake his hand. "Megan Gardner."

"It's nice to meet you, Gandalf did not say the house would have a lady present." Said Thorin.

And with that, introductions were made with everyone. As Megan was shaking hands with both Bofur and Dori, (they had grabbed hands from either side, so her arms were criscrossed) she caught Gandalf and Thorin talking privtely.

Oh, she wished she knew what they were talking about!

"So Lass, how'd you end up the lady of a Hobbit house?" Asked Gloin.

"Oh nonono, I don't live here..." And she told them how she ended up there.

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As the dwarves sat around the table, Megan stood behind Thorin with Gandalf. They were talking about their quest when Bilbo asked, "You're going on a quest?"

"Bilbo, I think we could use a little more light!" Gandalf said, and the hobbit went to get one.

"Gandalf says you are a warrior." Thorin didn't play around. Megan cleared her throat.

"Well, I was wearing this shirt.."

"Aye, you respond to the threat of..." Balin paused as he tried to remember. "Zombies. Tell me Lass, what exactly _is_ a zombie?" All the dwarves, the wizard, and even the hobbit waited for her to answer.

"Wwweeellll." She began. Taking a deep breath, she just told them without thinking. "Zombies are reanimated corpses that eat live flesh." Around the table, silence.

"You actually have that kind of threat in your home world? No wonder you came here!" Bofur declared, and the rest agreed with him.

"Ahh, well they don't actually exist..."

"But your people believe they will come?" Thorin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Megan thought about that. "A lot of people believe that someday, our world will be taken over, yes. " It wasn't _technically_ a lie.

"So they train warriors to deal with them, correct?" Was Thorin really buying this?

Megan remembered her sisters' 'Dixon Training Camp' t-shirt. Again, not really a lie. "Exactly."

They started talking amongst themselves, and Megan wondered what she got herself into.

"Well why not have a bodyguard for the burglar!" Ori suggested. Megan at this point wanted to sink into the groud and dissappear.

"A burglar? You'll need an expert I imagine!" Bilbo said.

"And are you?" Oin asked.

"A-am I what?"

"He said he's an expert!" Oin had misheard.

As they started to argue ("The wild is no place for gentle folk who cannot fight nor fend for themselves!" Dwalin said.) Megan felt very small. But she didn't know what she was gonna do about the situation.

"If I say Mr. Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!" Gandalf towered over the group, his voice booming, and it seemed like the room had gotten darker.

"Fine, we'll do it your way." Thorin said in a low voice. He had Balin give Bilbo a contract. The king looked over at Megan and asked. "And what should we do about you?"

"Um, I'm not really interested in money. But if I'm hired, the burglar will be my sole responsibility. You won't have to worry 'bout him, ok?" She replied politely.

"Understood. But you must have some sort of reward, name it."

Megan thought, _what should I ask for?_ Before she could think of anything, Bilbo looked from his contract to the group of dwarves.

"_Incineration?_" He asked.

"Aye, he'll melt the flesh off yer bones in the blink of an eye!" Bofur said, as brightly as if recalling a pleasant memory.

The hobbit bent over and put his hands on his knees. Megan thought he looked like he was going to be sick. Balin must have been on the same level of thought, because he asked,

"You alright Laddie?"

"Yeah, I feel a bit faint..." Bilbo sure sounded faint.

"Think furnace, with wings!" Apparently Bofur wasn't finished. "Flash of light, searing pain then PUF!* You're nothin' more than a pile of ash!" Megan nudged his leg from where she was standing, but he just shrugged as if to say, _What?_

Bilbo held a breath, let it out, and simply said "Nope." Before he _did_ collapse.

"Very helpful, Bofur." Gandalf chatsised him. Bofur only cocked his in confusion at Bilbos' unconsious form.

"You coulda left out the part about the searing pain." Megan told him.

"I guess I should have. I didn't know he'd take it like that!"

"Haha. You gotta remember dude, he's not used to this kinda thing. Except maybe in stories. He's what you'd call a rich boy."

"Well," Gloin said as he picked up the poor hobbit. "can't leave him in the floor, can we?"

They decided to rest him on the couch. "Tell us about zombie training!" Ori pleaded. The other dwarves looked on in curiousity.

"Well, the most tried and true method to kill a zombie for good is a head shot.." Megan told them everything she knew about zombies, though Katie was the real 'expert'.

Later, she heard Gandalf trying to convince Bilbo to accept the job. So she went to hang out with the others for a while. Kili and Fili turned a corner and almost ran into her.

"Sorry." Kili still couldn't look her in the eye.

"Hey man. Please don't make a lot of the whole 'you caught me in the tub' thing. It happens. I'm not mad, in fact I almost forgot all about it! So c'mon, let's just be friends. We can't travel together if we can't even look at each other." When he finally looked at her, she was smiling.

Both brothers breathed a sigh of relief. Fili swung his arm around her waist. "Well, let's go and get to know one another more. It's not everyday we get to talk with such a lovely lady!"

She blushed, and a lot of dwarves laughed.

As they were talking quietly (Megan was more listening, she could barely keep her eyes open) Thorin walked into the parlor. She knew they were going to sing, so she whipped out her phone and set it on record.

Far over the Misty Mountains cold

To dungeons deep, and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day

To claim our long-forgotten gold...

Megan recorded the song, and when they stopped she saved the video. She planned to send it to Katie, who'd flip at the sight of Thorin singing.

They continued to talk of dark and business-like things, and though she tried to keep up, she drifted off sometime in the night. Before she was completely asleep, she felt a blanket or something pulled over her. She simply wrapped it around herself and fell deeper into senseless dreams.

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Again Megan was poked and prodded awake.

"I don't _wanna_ go to school! Tell 'em I'm dead!" She complained. Then she heard everyone laughing at her, so she groaned as she remembered all the events since she'd come to M.E.

"We saved some breakfast for ya! Hurry up before Bombur eats it all!" Bofur pushed a plate of bacon and eggs and toast at her. She ate it, but being basically on autopilot she wasn't ready to talk.

Later, she dug through her bag again to look for adventuring clothes. To her dismay, the only other outfit she'd packed was a grey-blue sweater dress and black leggings. And the only shoes she had were the combat boots she wore when she met Gandalf.

But she went into the bathroom to change. Coming out, there was no sight of the dwarves. They were packing when she changed, how did they move out so fast?

"You can still catch up with them, if you hurry!" Gandalf said from behind her. She squealed a little at the fright. "Hush! You'll wake Bilbo!"

"But-" She began.

"No time for it!" The wizard started to shoo her out.

"But-" She said again.

"No time for that either! Now go!"

And before she knew what was happening, she was out the door. Her bag was swinging behind her, she was running so fast. Finally, she caught up to Thorin and his company.

"We were afraid you wouldn't make it!" Bofur exclaimed. The others cheered at the sight, and Thorin ordered a small horse for her.

"You didn't think I was breakin' up with ya, didja Bofur? I couldn't leave you!" They all laughed, as her and Bofur declared they were 'bestest friends' the night before.

"Nor could I break up with you!" He laughed.

Megan caught Fili smiling at her, but she tried to focus her attention on getting on the damn horse.

"And where's our burglar?" Dwalin asked.

"He's comin'." Megan said.

"I bet you he's not." Dwalin replied meaningfully.

"Are you wantin' to bet he will? 'Cause you're on!" Megan bet all her change on Bilbo showing up. She wondered whether it was fair, because she'd read the books and seen the movie on their adventure.

"I agree with the bodyguard! He'll catch up!" Fili told Nori.

"Well get ready to lose!" Nori said.

And so everyone made bets on the burglar.

**A/N: I hope it's ok, I tried to make it longer!**


	4. Chapter 4

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Riding was something Megan had never tried and she doubted seriously that she'd get used to it anytime soon.

There was a dwarf on either side of her, in case she fell. Out of boredom, she got her MP3 player and played The Carpenters again. (see previous chapter)

Listening to a song out of pure boredom can make one think of random things. So Megan was reminded of Dark Shadows, until she looked at Thorin. Immediately the image of the dwarven king ripping out the back of an old tv and yelling, "Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!" filled her mind.

And at this thought she started giggling, and couldn't stop. The harder she tried, the louder it got. Pretty soon the dwarves and Gandalf (who arrived shortly after Megan) turned to stare at the strange girl.

"...You alright Lassie?" Balin asked.

Megan wiped tears from her eyes as she answered him. "Y-yes Balin, I'm fine. I just had a funny thought! About this song...it's nothing."

They stared for a few seconds, then everyone heard "Wait! Waaaiiit!" Bilbo had finally caught up!

"I signed it!" Bilbo held the contract up proudly. Balin took it, and inspected it with a pair of reader glasses.

"Everything seems to be in order! Welcome, Master Baggins!" Said the second-oldest of the group.

"Give him a pony." Thorin ordered. Bilbo tried to protest, but two dwarves picked him up and plopped him on a pony anyway.

Suddenly Megans' phone blared 'Good Time' by Owl City. Confused, she brought it to her face while trying not to fall off her horse. "Oh look at that, full bars in Middle freaking Earth!"

She was aware of the looks she was getting from her companions, but a call from her sister was not to be ignored. "Hey Katie-Bear!" She said, putting her sister on speaker because it was easier to talk and ride at the same time that way.

"Where are you?! Stella's going ape and me and Kendra have to deal with her!" Katie demanded. If the company was confused at Megans' remark about full bars before, they were stupified at the voice coming from the thing she held now.

"You were supposed to meet me at lunch!" Stellas' voice from the other side sounded beyond pissed.

"Sorry, but something came up!"

"Hmph!" Silence. Then Katies' voice was back.

"She nearly threw my phone! Whatever 'came up' better be important!"

Megan tried to think. What could she tell them?_ I can't make it cause I'm currently stuck in Middle Earth _wouldn't cut it.

"I ran into some friends, and they need my help with...something. It's very important, but I can't talk about it. I meant to call you sooner-"

"That's not gonna fly, Megan Renee! Put one of your 'friends' on the phone! You don't just run off like that, I know you! So unless you just recently started working for the C.I.A, you're going to give me a better story than that!" Katie _did_ know her really well.

Megan thought about it, until she spied Thorin staring at her suspiciously. "Hey _Theo_, wanna talk to Katie?" She handed her phone (with difficulty) to the dwarven king. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she made 'just go with it' signals with her head. So he did.

Looking at the phone like most would an alien, he spoke into the curious communicating device.

"Who's this?" Again, silence from the other end. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Will your sister speak to Thorin?" Bilbo whispered. Megan could only shrug.

"Ummmm...are you one of Megans' friends?" Katies' voice sounded a little squeaky. Once again Megan tried to stifle laughter.

"Yes, I am" Here he gazed at Megan warily. "Theo. You must be Katie, it's nice to make your aquaintance, though I'd rather have met you in person."

Imagining her sister's reaction, Megan gripped her horse with her knees so she could stuff her fists in her mouth.

Thorin/Theo continued. "Rest assured, your sister will be fine. I'm handing the conversation back to her, good day." It took all of Megans' self-control not to drop the phone as Thorin gave it back to her.

"Omigod_hesoundsjustlikeRichard!_" Katie said, not knowing everyone could hear her.

"Yeah, he gets that alot! But uh, Kate? You were on speaker." Nothing, then Megan heard the dial tone. "She hung up on me!"

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Bilbo was having as hard a time on his pony as his bodyguard was on her horse. The bodyguard in question suddenly remembered; _the bet!_

"Hey Dwalin, pay up!" She shouted. Dwalin growled, but tossed a small bag her way. She caught it wearing the biggest smile, and Dwalin growled again.

As Gandalf explained to Bilbo about the bet, Nori threw a bag to Fili. He smirked at Megan and said, "We were right after all, Lady Megan!"

"Aw, you can just call me Megan. Or Megs, if you want." Again she wanted to kick her own ass, _why did she just give him her nickname?!_

But Fili smiled. "Megs it is then!" She swung her hair in front of her face to hide the blush. It was a mystery to her how he was already comfortable enough to use that name.

"Wait, wait stop! We have to go back!" Bilbo shouted, and Megan could hear the company roll their eyes.

"What is the matter?" Gandalf demanded.

"I forgot my hankerchief!" Said the hobbit.

"Here," Bofur smiled and ripped a small patch from his clothing. "use this!" He tossed it to Bilbo, who caught it with a grimance. Even Megan winced at the _slap_! the cloth made when Bilbo caught it.

"Dude, I think you'll live without one. Word to the wise!" Megan whispered to Bilbo. He wore an expression that read _that is not in the least amusing!_

Riding on, Megan began to get a little bored again. So she got her phone out and snapped a few pictures. Of the dwarves, Bilbo, Gandalf, the countryside. She got a few looks as the company noticed the snapping noise the camera made.

"What are you doing there?" Thorin asked, more like demanded.

"Making memories, my dear Thorin. Wanna see some?" She handed her phone to him (with not as much trouble as last time) and showed him how to scroll through the pictures. "This is Kendra, my cousin, at her karate class. Karate is a fighting style, by the way. This is my dad, he plays guitar. And_ this_ is Katie, my brat sister. You talked to her earlier, remember?"

Thorin stopped at Katies' photo and stared. It was a picture of her smiling directly at the camera, just after taking her hair down, so it fell in gentle golden waves. "You didn't tell me your sister was..."

"Pardon?" Megan asked.

Thorin started scrolling again. "It's nothing. Who's this?"

Megan leaned over to look, but carefully because she was still learning to ride. "That's my friend Stella, remember her yelling at me? In my world, some people have different colored skin. There are latino, spanish, asian, indian, native american, and black, like Stella. Her grandma's the sweetest person though, letting us stay in her summer cottage."

"You don't live with your parents?" Bofur asked.

"No, where I come from, people my age are expected to live on their own. Stella's grandma has a cottage she can't use, so Stella, me, and Katie live there and pay rent."

"Let me see!" Kili said, and Thorin handed him the phone. "She's pretty! Her skin is like caramel, and her eyes like chocolate!"

"Yes, because every woman enjoys being compared to food!" Fili joked, and everyone laughed. Kili blushed a little, and Bomburs' head snapped up at the mention of food.

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When they had set up camp for the night, Megan flopped down on the nearest bedspread-and immediately decided not to do any more flopping. Gandalf chuckled when she groaned.

"I think it best that you watch before you start flopping around like a fish out of water!"

Megan looked up at him. "No kidding?" She asked sarcastically.

She got up and decided to help the others, with what little pride she had left anyway. Spotting Fili and Kili nearby, she got her phone out.

"Hey Kili! Smile!" He looked up, confused. When he saw the phone though, he broke into a huge grin. _Snap! _Megan looked at the result. It was a very adorable headshot. She began to text Stella, along with sending her the picture.

hey stells! meet kyle, he thinks ur yummy! am i off the hook? 3, megs

Then she waited. Oin and Gloin had just got a fire going, so she went and snuggled in the blanket that was covering her at Bilbos'. Then she wondered why she brought it, as it wasn't hers. And before she knew it, she had slumped over like a sack of potatos and fell asleep.

This time she was woken up by screams. High, scary, inhuman screams. Looking over, she saw that Bilbo was scared too. So she motioned him over, and they both snuggled under the blanket for comfort. The poor hobbit was shaking as he asked, "What is that?"

Fili and Kili were oppisite them, and the latter answered, "Orcs."

"Orcs?!"

Both the burglar and his bodyguard gulped.

"They come in quick and quiet, no noise, just lots of blood!" Kili said in a low spooky voice.

She figured the two youngest dwarves were trying to scare them with their old wives' tales, but later she would admit that it worked. It was sometime then that she realized, this wasn't a dream. She didn't run into a tree and hit her head that day. She wasn't hallucinating. Somehow, this was real. And she unconsciously started to shake at her next thought, which came unbidden. '_And it's about to get even more real.' _

"You think this is funny?" Thorin demanded, his sudden appearence making Megan and Bilbo jump. "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili said, looking down in shame. Thorin walked away.

"You know nothing of the world!" He muttered. Megan made a mental note not to piss him off as Balin walked over to them.

"Don't mind him, Laddie." Said the oldest dwarf. "Thorin has more cause than most, to hate orcs."

As Megan listened to Balins' story of the battle to reclaim Moria, she was struck by yet another unsettling thought._ Will this follow the movie, or the book?_ If book, she wouldn't have to worry about Azog at all. If movie...she was as good as screwed.

"And the Pale Orc? What happened to him?" Bilbo asked.

"The foul creaure slunk back to whence he came!" Thorin answered. He must've been listening. "Scum died of his wounds later."

And on that happy note, the whole company settled in for an uneasy nights' sleep.

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Rain, rain, rain.

How it started, why it started, and when it would stop were questions that were on everyones' minds. Bofur was trying to smoke, but it was too wet so he grudgedly put his pipe away. The other dwarves looked sour, so Megan thought it best not to engage any of them in conversation. She felt a little pissy anyway. It took her hours to do her hair the way she liked it normally, but now it would dry in ringlets. She could hear her mom now, '_You look like Shirley Temple!_'

For now she'd listen to Gandalf explain to Bilbo about the five wizards of the council. She counted off her fingers. Saruman the white, check. The two blueses whose names are forgotten, check. And then of course everyones' favorite wizard in grey, check.

"And who's the fifth?" Asked the little hobbit.

"That would be Radagast, the brown." Gandalf said proudly.

"And is he a great wizard or is he, more like you?"

Gandalf looked offended at first, then continued. "I think he's a very great wizard! In his own way, he lives a solitary life. Prefers the company of animals to others..."

Megan's phone beeped just then. She dug it out of her pocket, read the text from Stella, and laughed so hard she almost fell off her horse.

"What's so funny?" Demanded Dori, who didn't see how anything about this day could make someone laugh.

"Stella got back to me last night, I just didn't hear it I guess." Megan answered. "I sent her a picture of Kili and asked if I wasn't in trouble anymore. She came back with 'yeah girl, we're good! Now tell that hot piece of-' not reading that part, 'to come over and-' not reading that either...yadayadayada, censorcensorcensor, basically she likes you Kili."

She looked up to find that everyones' jaw had dropped and were staring at her. Kili especially looked red in the face. Bilbo looked sick again. She figured it was a good thing she didn't mention how she referred to Kilis' statement about Stellas' skin and eyes as 'yummy'. She went back to her phone and selected a candid picture of Thorin. He was looking majestically into the sun, every bit the handsome, brave, honorable dwarf king her sister crushed on. She sent the photo to Katie with a text.

lookie here, it's theo posing for a new hobbit fansite! don't he make a great thorin?

Suddenly she was seeing the sunny side of things.

As the hours went on, (and so did Megans' music) the rain stopped. So the spirits of the company rose a tad. But it was evening time, and Megan could hardly hold her head up. She wondered why it was so exhausting to ride a horse.

Thorin ordered a stop at an abandoned skeleton of a house. Literally the only thing left was the support beams. "Fili, Kili. Look after the ponies, make sure you stay with them! Oin, Gloin, get a fire going."

The dwarves went to do what they were told. "What about me?" Megan asked.

"You can help Bombur with supper, if you want." Bofur replied. "He could really use the help!"

Thanks Bofur, I'd like that." She smiled.

He smiled back and winked. "Anything to keep ya from breakin' up with me!"

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"Wow Bombur, this smells good!"

"It should, thanks again for your help Lass!" Bombur replied happily.

They started pouring eveyones' bowls, and the dwarves thanked them. Bofur was just asking Bilbo to take two bowls to Fili and Kili when Thorin called Megan over. She hoped against hope she wasn't in trouble. She grabbed her own bowl and went and leaned on the side of the former house.

"You rang?" She asked. Thorin again raised his eyebrows, but let it pass.

"Your sister..." He began. "Does she train to fight zombies as well?"

"Actually, she's one of the best! Practically a expert, if you ask me." Megan said, wondering why he was asking this.

"You're probably wondering why I'm asking you this." Said Thorin.

"Nope, not at all. You have your reasons for wanting to know, and I might not be as good as Katie, but I won't let you down!"

"Such eagerness." Was all he said. There was an awkward silence, then. "You should eat, Megan." Thorin walked away, so he didn't see Megans' jaw drop with her spoon halfway to her mouth. That was the first time he used her name.

She had just finished and taken her bowl to Bombur to be cleaned.

"Hey Megs! Wanna help me lay out the beds?" Ori asked.

"You got it Boy Scout!" She answered, using the nickname she came up with just for him. They had just unrolled the last bedroll when Fili came and grabbed her upper arm. She automatically flinched, but asked "What's up, Fili?"

"Come with me, it's Bilbo."

Thorins' head shot up at the burglars' name. The other dwarves gathered around. Fili continued. "Me and Kili had noticed that two ponies were missing, when Bilbo brought our food. We followed a trail of uprooted trees, then we saw them!"

Now Thorin grabbed Filis' arm none too gently. "What did you see?"

Fili didn't answer for a moment, then what he said next chilled Megans' spine. "Trolls."

She berated herself for forgetting about the hobbit in the first place. Fili noticed her scowl and said, "I'm sorry. I just thought that, as his bodyguard, you'd want to know first."

"No Fili, you did the right thing. I'm just mad at myself for letting this happen!"

"Where's your brother?" Thorin demanded.

"He stayed to help Bilbo in case things got bad." Fili replied.

By this time they had all made it to the clearing where the trolls were. Megan could just see the giant ugly things handling Bilbo like cruel kids would handle a small animal. Just then Kili jumped ahead of them in time to rescue the burglar. He slashed at one from behind, and the troll went down.

"Drop him!" Kili shouted.

"You wha?" One of the trolls asked stupidly.

"I said, drop him!" Kili said threatenly. And the troll complied, launching the hobbit like a snot-covered cannonball. The youngest dwarf caught Snotball Bilbo, and they both fell.

"Now!" Thorin yelled and everyone rushed forward to take on the trolls. Everyone except Megan. She had no weapons, nor knowledge to use them. All she had was her stun gun, and she wasn't sure when the battery would run out.

"Some bodyguard I am." She said miserably. But she didn't want to lose her position in the company, so she ran forward anyway.

Everything was moving so fast, Megan couldn't keep track. She switched the stun gun on and jammed it into the back of a trolls' knee, then she held the button down as long as it'd usually take to kill a human. But to the troll, it was more like his leg fell asleep.

"Wha are you doin', ya little mouse?!" He then sideswiped her, and she flew into a tree, hitting her head hard. She sat there in a daze, but she could vaugely make out what her friends were yelling.

"MEGS!" She heard Fili shout.

"BILBO!" She heard Kili shout.

She wiped a warm, sticky something that turned out to be blood out of her eyes and saw the trolls holding Bilbo by his limbs alone.

"Lay down your arms!" A troll demanded. "Or we'll wip his off!" Obviously, this troll had a hell of a lisp. One by one, the dwarves dropped their weapons. The last surprisingly being Ori, who threw his slingshot down in fury.

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Megan, the dwarves, and Bilbo were at the mercy of the trolls. Thorin, Oin, Kili, Fili, Bombur, Balin, Bilbo and Megan were tied up in sacks while the rest were roasting on a spit.

"W-where's Gandalf?" She asked weakly.

"He left before dinner, remember?" Bilbo whispered. Megan still felt dizzy, and her head wouldn't stop throbbing.

"...And I don't fancy bein' turned to stone!" Said Lispy.

Megan could just see the metaphorical light bulb click on over Bilbos' head as he jumped up.

"You are making a terrible mistake!" He cried.

"You can't reason with 'em, they're half-wits!" Dori yelled as he turned over the fire.

"Half-wits? What does that make us?!" Bofur called as he made his turn. Megan tried to keep up with Bilbos' plan, but all she really wanted to do right then was sleep off her first battle wounds.

She was suprised then, when she saw a troll pick Bombur up by his feet. "N-no!" She shouted weakly.

"Not that one, he's infected!" Bilbo said, making everyone stop what they were doing.

"You wha?" Asked Lispy.

"Yeah he's got worms! In his...tubes." And thus Bombur was dropped. "In fact they all have parasites!"

The dwarves protested loudly at this, with cries of "I don't have parasites, _you_ have parasites!" and "Traitor!" Bilbo rolled his eyes, then he caught sight of something. Megan knew it was Gandalf, and she relaxed.

Thorin caught on, and gave his youngest nephew (Kili) a good kick. Everyone went still as they processed this.

"I've got parasites as big as m'arm!" Shouted Oin.

"I've got one of the biggest parasites!" Shouted Kili. And thus they all changed their tune.

"What would you have us do then? Let them all go?!" Demanded a troll.

"Well..." Bilbo began, but the troll wasn't done.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doin'! This little_ ferret_ is takin' us for fools!"

"Ferret?" Asked Bilbo.

"Fools?" Asked a troll.

"The dawn will take you all!" Shouted a voice. Everyone saw Gandalf standing on a large rock.

"Who's that?" Asked the first troll.

"No idea." His friend on the other side of the spit answered.

"Can we eat him too?" Inquired the last troll. Gandalf used his staff to split the rock in half, letting in the daylight. The trolls tried to shield their eyes from it, but it took less than a minute and then they were stone. Thorin and his company rejoiced.

"Oh, get your foot out of m'back!" Complained Dwalin.

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The next Megan knew, Fili was out of his sack and rushing to hers. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"Owww..." Was all she could say. He pressed his hand on her head, and she winced.

"It's only a small cut, but let's have Gandalf see to it just the same." He helped her up.

Later, Gandalf had healed the cut on her head. "That was too close! Have you no other means to defend yourself?"

"No, not really." She admitted.

"Then how do you kill the zombies?" Thorin said, and Megan could've swore he was using his best 'I'm mocking you by being polite' tone.

"They don't exist remember? And just because we believe they'll come to eat us one day, don't mean we carry weapons around!" She protested weakly. She was too tired for this.

"Why not?"

"Cause it's kinda illegal." She answered. "'Sides, zombies are slower than even trolls. Their power is mostly in numbers." That seemed to do the trick. Thorin nodded and turned his attention to the wizard.

"Where were you, might I ask?"

"Looking ahead." Gandalf replied simply.

"And what brought you back in the nick of time?"

"Looking behind. And it seems not a moment too soon, as you are all in one piece!"

"No thanks to your burglar, or his bodyguard." Thorin raised an eyebrow.

"He had the nerve to pray for time, she fought with little training, the rest of you didn't think of that." Gandalf went somewhere else.

Megan slumped against a tree. "I'll try harder next time, I promise." She said in a voice they could hardly hear.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry it took so long! There was a major plot twist & I struggled...I only made it a smidge shorter than I originally wanted, guess I just don't wanna stop yet :s**

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She was still sitting there when Bilbo came up to her. "Are you alright? Gandalf said you took a nasty blow to the head."

"I'm okay now. Sorry I wasn't 'guarding' you, but everyone's fine for right now so..." She trailed off as the company started to move off somewhere. "Ah, let's go see what they're gettin' us into. Shall we?"

They walked behind the rest as the dwarves and Gandalf came to a cave.

"I think I'll wait out here." Bilbo said. Megan nodded.

"Back in a flash." She said, leaving behind a confused hobbit.

"What's that stench?" A dwarf asked. Megan didn't see who it was, but she agreed with them. The place stunk to high heaven without an excuse.

"It's a_ troll hoard_." Gandalf replied. The hoard was just that. It looked like the trolls kept everything of value their victims happened to have on them. Megan shivered at the thought of all the people who met the trolls, and never saw daylight again.

She went and stood next to Gandalf and Thorin, as the latter looked through some dusty weapons. Thorin glanced sidways at her.

"Arm yourself, Bodyguard." Was all he said. There went the first name basis. Megan looked the weapons over, not sure what she wanted to take. In the end, she chose a big hammer with a long handle and a head almost as long as her forearm. She slung the hammer across her back, just after looking over the three jewels embedded in the handle. A white gem, a ruby, and a sapphire. She also found a leather cestus*, with sharp spikes that fit neatly on her right hand.

"I'm glad there were some belts handy!" She said to herself.

"It seems such a shame to leave it lyin' around," Said Bofur, running his foot over a pile of gold coins. "anyone could take it!"

"Agreed. Nori, get a shovel!" Gloin said. And that's what Nori did. Megan didn't want to hear Gandalf and Thorin talk about their swords, so she stood next to Dwalin.

"How're you feelin'? Your first battle is always the hardest." Dwalin said without looking at her.

"No kidding. After this I gotta step it up y'know? I want to prove myself, but I'm scared."

"You'd be a fool not to be. But I see potential in you, with time you'll do fine." Dwalin flashed a small smile before looking over at his companions, who were burying chests of gold.

"We're makin' a long-term deposit!" Gloin indicated the hole him, Nori, and Bofur were filling up. Dwalin rolled his eyes.

"Let's get out of this foul place. Bofur, Gloin, Nori!" Thorin ordered. Megan could feel the extra weight she was carrying in both the literal and metaphorical sense. She couldn't let a repeat of last night happen. Not if she was to be seen with a company of warriors, like Dwalin. Or Thorin. Or any of them.

Gandalf pulled her and Bilbo aside. The wizard gave a tiny sword to the hobbit. "The blade is of elvish make, which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are near!"

"I've never used a sword in my life!" Bilbo protested.

"And I hope you never have to! But if you do remember this; true courage is in knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one." He looked at both Bilbo and Megan as he said this.

"Something's coming!" Thorin shouted. Everyone rushed to see, but Bilbo looked at his sword first.

"Good, no blue!" Megan grabbed his arm and ran, Fili behind them.

"THIEVES! FIRE! MURDER!"

The first thing they saw were the rabbits, then the sled. An older man in a brown robe jogged over to Gandalf before the sled came to a complete stop.

"Radagast!" Gandalf said happily, then took in the worried look on his cousins' face. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you, Gandalf-" The other wizard froze as he caught sight of Megan. "Well, a Traveler! It has been so long! Is she with you Gandalf? The other one is a bad egg, but she could help us!"

"Um, 'she' is right here, and 'she' would like to know what you're talking about. Sorry, but I don't like it when people talk about me like I'm not even there." Megan crossed her arms, but smiled to let the wizards know she was only kidding.

"Of course! I am Radagast the brown, but you knew that? Of course you did, you're with Gandalf! But as I was saying, the other Traveler has a darkness about him. I could tell. And he's looking for you, my dear!"

Megans' arms fell limply at her sides. "What did he...look like?" She asked slowly, for she was afraid of the answer. Radagast looked at her (with sympathy?) and replied,

"Wears a funny hat, not like your friend there." At this, he motioned at Bofur, who put his hand on his hat in confusion. "Clothes that hang from his body as if they are too big, blonde hair, carries a blade I have never seen the likes of before. He has allied himself with a dark force...Oh! That reminds me, Gandalf!" Megan blanked out as Radagast and Gandalf spoke of the formers' findings from Dol Gildur. The description was accurate, but was it really...?

"Are you alright Megs?" She jumped as Filis' hand touched hers. "Is that the man-? He let the question hang there, waiting for her to finish it. All she could do was nod. Bilbos' eyes widened as he remembered her brief but disturbing description of her homeworld. The three of them fell silent. Then they heard a howl.

"Was that a wolf? Are there wolves here?" Bilbo asked nervously.

"Wolf? No that was not a wolf!" Bofur exclaimed. Just then, a giant warg leaped from somewhere in left field and tackled Dori! Thorin, Kili, and Dwalin made quick work of it, and the dwarven king declared,

"Warg scouts! Which means an orc-pack is not far behind!"

"_Orc-pack?!"_ Bilbo asked in a slightly panic-y voice.

"Who did you tell of your quest, beyond your kin?" Gandalf demanded.

"No one." Thorin replied.

"Who did you tell?!"

"No one I swear! What in Durins' name is going on?!"

"You're being hunted."

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin growled.

"No shit!" Megan muttered.

"We can't, we have no ponies!" Ori called as he and Bifur came over the hill. "They bolted!"

"I'll draw them off!" Radagast said. Megan looked around as her companions gave the strange wizard a raised eyebrow or two.

"These are Gundabad wargs, they'll outrun you!" Gandalf protested.

"_These_ are Rhosgobel Rabbits! I'd like to see them try."

"Are we...Is he serious?" Bilbo asked nervously.

"He has a sled pulled by badass bunnies," Megan told him, trying to lighten the mood. "your argument is invalid!" Her and her charge gulped.

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Running was another strong point Megan didn't posess. She found herself lagging, along with Bilbo.

"C'mon Billy! They're-gaining- on..." She paused as she huffed with excertion.

"Don't-call-me-_Billy!"_ The irrtiable hobbit retorted, also short of breath.

"Keep moving!" Balin urged in a loud whisper. The hobbit and his bodyguard nodded, and ran on. If nothing else, the distant snarls and howls of the wargs were enough to convince the most tired pair of feet to haul arse.

When the sounds of wargs and orcs (and occasional shouts from Radagast) died away, everyone slowed to a jog. The dwarves had their weapons unsheathed, so Megan followed suit, just in case.

"Over there, quick!" Gandalf ordered, and they obeyed. Hiding behind a huge rock formation was a welcome reprive from running for now.

"Ori no!" Thorin grabbed the young dwarf by the back of his clothes and pulled him back, as Ori almost overshot it and exposed them. They weren't home-free yet.

Megans' breath burned in her lungs, her heart thumped painfully in her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut as they all heard an orc and warg on the rock above them.

Twang!

Her eyes shot open as Kili brought the warg down. Dwalin and Bifur ran to finish off the orc, though the gross thing still squalled. They turned away when it was presumed dead, but the orc unsheathed a big knife. Without thinking, Megan ran forward, finding strength from terror. Raising the hammer high, she brought it down with such force she never knew she possessed.

Thorin and Co. stared at her as they heard the loud _crunch!_ She brought the hammer back up, and nearly passed out as the head was revealed to be covered in blood and bone and hair.

"Oooh, I'm going to be sick!" Megan moaned. So she turned her head to the side and was silently sick a moment.

"No time, RUN!" Gandalf shouted. Nobody argued. Except maybe Thorin asking,

"Where're you leading us?" But they kept running. The enemy was onto them, so not only did they have to run, they had to whack any orcs or wargs that got too close. They made it to another rock formation, but the wizard was nowhere in sight. The company stopped and turned towards the group of baddies.

"Where is Gandalf?" Asked a random dwarf, Megan didn't see who.

"He's abandoned us!" Dwalin declared.

"We're surrounded!" Fili shouted. Ori shot a warg square in the face with his slingshot, but the huge beast shook it off without breaking stride. Ori looked how Megan felt.

"THIS WAY, YOU FOOLS!" Gandalf appeared behind them, revealing the rocks to be a secret hidey hole. The company ran toward him, with Thorin, Kili, and Fili holding off the fast approaching enemies. Bofur grabbed Megan's arm as they made their way to the wizard, passing a hesitant Bifur, the bodyguard yelled,

"Hurry up, Dances With Wargs!" Bifur muttered in his beard something she couldn't make out, but he followed. Her, Bofur, and Bifur were soon joined by Bombur and they slid down as a group. Gandalf was busy counting dwarves, as they came down in groups of two and three. Bilbo was one of the first down, and instinctively he stood by Megan. Thorin and his nephews joined them shortly after, and that was all of them.

Then they heard the horns.

And the cries of orcs.

Suddenly, one rolled downward and came to a stop at their feet. The braver dwarves poked it to make sure it was really dead. Thorin pulled the arrow from the corpse.

"Elves." He said in disgust. Megan didn't want to bother with his racism, she was just glad they could rest soon. The first thing she wanted was a bath. To hell with everything else right now.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads! Do we follow it or no?" Shouted Dwalin.

"Follow it, of course!" Bofur replied.

"I think that would be wise.." Gandalf said. The dwarf king shot him a look that would've turned anyone else into hamburger.

***Cestus (Kes-Tus: Precursor to the brass knuckle. Usually a leather glove with iron spikes protruding from the top. Worn by gladiators in Ancient Rome)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! I was actually very reluctant to even post this, but my sister won't let me give up. Love you, you little brat :)**

**Anyway, I am SO scared this will be very confusing, and/or boring. Enjoy though!**

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Going through the passageway was difficult for most of the dwarves, so there were many pauses and curses and shoves. Especially from everyone behind Bombur. Megan gripped her hammer until it hurt her hands. _'I killed something. In cold blood. Bashed its brains in! Does that...make me a monster?'_

She jumped as a hand was gently laid on hers. Fili looked at her with concern. "It's alright, just me. Are you still thinking about what that wizard said?"

Actually, she'd forgotten all about that. Now that she could think on it, there was a lot of things she didn't know when it came to the 'Travelers' as Radagast had called them. What were they? Did they have any impact on Middle Earth at all, or were they just along for the ride? And what the hell was she supposed to do with the other one?

She decided that she needed answers to these questions before anything else. She put it on the back burner as the narrow way opened up to a view of a great city, situated at the bottom of the valley. It was gorgeous, with its vast layout and beautiful waterfalls, but she was tired and could've cared less right then.

"And that is why you'll leave the talking, to me." Gandalf said as everyone started making their way down the sloping path towards the elven city. Megan groaned but followed, her feet protesting every step of the way.

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As they passed a small copse of trees to their left, they began to hear singing. Megan groaned again. She sure as hell wasn't feeling merry and jolly, therefore, wasn't in the mood for jolly and merry singing. Stupid Elves.

It seemed her companions felt the same way, by the way they growled and muttered in their beards as grumpy dwarves are wont to do. Especially as they could hear the voices of the immortal beings start to tease them.

"Be careful not to dip your beard in the water, Father!" One seemed to be aimed specifically at Balin. "It doesn't need any more watering!" The Elves laughed at that. Megan whirled around and yelled at the trees the first thing that came to her mind.

"Do not mock Balin the Santa Claus! Or ya'll get no presents this year! Don't make me go over there!" The Elves only laughed harder. Then they began to sing again. Megan stuffed her fingers in her ears and proceeded to 'LALALALALALA! CAN'T HEAR YOU!' until they made it to a bridge into the city.

It looked bigger up close. Everyone except Gandalf gazed in awe, which coming from Dwarves was a compliment. Bilbo stayed near Megan, and she kept a hand on his shoulder. Crossing the bridge, they saw a staircase lead up to the city itself. But before they got to it, an Elf came down and greeted the Wizard. Since they were having a formal welcome-back-how-you-been moment Megan tuned them out, deciding to sit on the edge and rest her tired feet.

Suddenly a bunch of horses thundered across the bridge. Thorin and Co. closed ranks while Megan just watched.

The Elf she was sure had to be Lord Elrond got off his horse and spoke with Gandalf in Elvish. She got up and walked over, not wanting to appear rude. That didn't seem to be on Thorins' agenda, as he was very rude.

"He made no mention of _you_." He said curtly. Megan facepalmed, and Elrond replied in a string of Elvish.

"What's he sayin'?" Gloin asked in a dangerously low tone, "Does he offer us insult?!"

"No Master Gloin, he's offering you food!" Said Gandalf. The Dwarves deliberated for a moment, then Gloin spoke again,

"Well, in that case lead on." Megan snorted, but when the company turned their glares to her she turned it into a cough. When they weren't looking, she winked at Bilbo, who also smiled.

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The men left Megan to be led to a room so she could bathe, while they went to do the same. The female Elves who accompanied her picked out a dress and laid it out on the bed she'd be spending the night on. They filled the tub and left her. And that was just fine. She all but cannonballed into the tub, she was so glad to be clean.

After shaving, washing, and soaking, she peeked in the room. All her clothes were folded on her bed. _'The Elves must've done it. How'd they do that without me hearing 'em?'_ She thought. She pulled the dress on, then started packing her clothes back in the bag. But as she opened the bag, she dropped it. Inside, a supposedly empty bag of cherry sours lay. _Completely full._ Megan knew for a fact that she, Bofur, and Nori ate them all. And she only had the one bag.

"W-what the hell?" She began to frantically paw through her bag. The MP3 players' battery was charged all the way. The dry shampoo bottle full. A bottle of Dr. Pepper, full. Stuff that was completely empty when they met up with Radagast..._replenished?_ "That's impossible!" Megan had no idea she was shouting, until two Elleths burst in.

"My lady, what is wrong?"

"N-nothing. I'll be there in a minute." She stammered. As they left she added, "That wizards' some explainin' to do!"

If nothing else, she loved the dress. Sky blue, made of a materiel soft as spiders' silk. So she could look good while giving Gandalf an earful! The Elleths were kind enough to leave a matching pair of shoes, but Megan left them where they were, preferring to go barefoot like she did at home.

Home. She stopped in her tracks and whipped out her phone, completely charged of course. Three missed calls. One from her mom, one from Katie, and one from her ex boyfriend. Ignoring the last, she quickly sent texts to her mom and sister, saying she was fine and that she was sorry for missing their calls. One of the Elleths from before came back when she noticed Megan wasn't following them.

"Oh, I'm coming."

She was just making her way to the table where the company was seated when Gandalf said, "No Megan, come sit with us. Lord Elrond wants to speak with you." She gulped, but changed direction. Passing the other table, she saw Kili nudge his brother and whisper something. When they looked her way again she stuck her tongue out, which made them laugh.

"You look nice Megs!" Fili said. Trying not to blush, Megan replied, "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself!"

"Yeah, she cleans up good for a bodyguard eh?" This came from Kili.

"Try it, just a mouthful!" Dori urged his youngest brother to eat a lettuce leaf. But Ori shook his head.

"I don't like green food." He said stubbornly.

"Where's the meat?" Dwalin searched in vain through his bowl of salad. This made Megan burst into a giggling fit as he could've easily said _'Where's the beef?'_ Oin wasn't enjoying the music the Elves were playing, so he stuffed a napkin in his earhorn. Then he made a motion with his hands as if to say _'Ah, that's much better!'_ This made the Bodyguard double over whereas Bilbo, Nori, Dori, Balin, Gloin, and Bifur shook their heads collectively. Fili, Kili and Ori laughed, and Bombur just kept eating. Bofur was also laughing until he caught the wizards' eye.

"Oi, Gandalf's waitin' for you girl. Never rouse a wizards' temper, more dangerous than pokin' a bear!"

"Thanks Bofur, I'll keep that in mind. Seeya later guys!" She waved as she went over to the high table. She caught the tail end of Elrond telling Gandalf and Thorin the history of the swords they picked up from the trolls' hoard. Glamdring and Orcrist were undoubtably beautiful and deadly, their respective owners deserved nothing less.

"Megan, this is Lord Elrond. Master of the Last Homely House." Gandalf bowed his head slightly, and she did the same in the Elven kings' direction. "Lord Elrond, this is Megan Gardner of..." He paused, looking at her as if to say _'A little help?'_

"Florida." She answered quickly. "Also known as the land of...Sunshine. Cause that's pretty much all we get year-round. And no offense, but this place is anything but _Homely.._Uh, Your Majesty Sir." She inwardly berated herself for babbling, but Elrond smiled.

"She can certainly speak for herself, can't she? Welcome to Rivendell. Gandalf tells me you're a Traveler." He said kindly.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask him about that." Megan raised her eyebrows at the wizard, but Elrond replied instead.

"No need. Allow me. A 'Traveler' is a being from another world who has somehow stumbled into Middle Earth, and most of them decide to stay. I believe Sir Hoffa* also comes from your world." Megans' jaw dropped, but the Elven king continued. "And if they stay long enough, Travelers are sometimes known to 'Merge' with a specific race."

Confused, the Bodyguard raised her hand to indicate she had a question. When Elrond nodded, she asked, "Excuse me Sir, but what do you mean by merge?" This time Gandalf answered.

"He means that some Travelers actually transform and literally become part of Middle Earth. Not all, mind you. But some become Elves, others Dwarves, a few became Hobbits, if I remember! They say it's a long, painful process. Especially if-"

"If what? Will I Merge?" Megan tried to imagine how much it would hurt to turn into a Hobbit. Did she even want to be one?

Gandalf looked like he didn't want to answer, but he did in a hesitating voice, "Especially if a Traveler Merges with Orcs or Goblins."

That hit her like a punch in the gut. "Is that-? Could it be like the guy Radagast was talking about?" Instead of replying, the wizard turned to the two kings and filled them in on what Radagast told him. Thorin, having not heard that part, was frustrated that no one knew what 'Dark Force' the other Traveler allied himself with. But he hid it well, the only sign of his agitation being a fierce glow to his eyes.

Megan was processing this information when she had another question. "Excuse me again Lord Elrond, but would you know why my stuff keeps coming back?" She held up her soda bottle for emphasis. "This was empty before we came here, did Radagast replace it?" They both looked at her, then Gandalf chuckled as Elrond answered.

"No, I don't believe he'd have the time. Many Travelers have asked the same thing. I believe it is because you come from another world, whatever you bring with you isn't affected the same way any food I give you would be. In other words, if I gave you a flask of wine, it would run out of course. Because it came from me. But a drink you brought from your homeland would never stay empty, do you understand so far?"**

"I, think so? I don't know. This is an awful lot to take in.."

"I understand, please eat and rest for now. Now Gandalf, where did you say you aquired these blades?" Gandalf answered him vaugely, but the Elven king raised an eyebrow and asked,

"And what were you doing on the Great East Road?" Thorin and Gandalf shared an _'He won't let this go will he?'_ glance.

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It was nice to slip back into her jamies. She couldn't do it on the road, no privacy to change and not much point to it anyway. After brushing her teeth and other hygene stuff, Megan went to look for the rest of the company. Bilbo, Thorin, Balin and Gandalf went with Elrond, and having read the book she wasn't interested in hearing about the map right then.

She finally found them after what felt like an hour of Elfy-hearing proof stealth moves, known by most as tiptoeing. The Dwarves had broken a table up for firewood and were cooking link sausages over the fire no doubt started by Oin and Gloin, the company pyros, as Megan fondly referred them to as. Fili spotted her first and broke out into a huge grin.

"So, what was so imporant that you couldn't eat with us?" He asked jokingly. So she told them. Ori looked fasinated, but others were instantly suspicious.

"Does this mean you'll start changing? How do we know it'll be into an ally?" This came from Gloin, and Megan silently admitted that he had a point. An unfazed Bofur stuffed a sausage in his mouth, and while chewing said,

"I wouldn't worry about it! Even _if _she were to Merge, She doesn't have enough evil in her to be anything but maybe another Mr. Baggins." Dwalin responded with a look that said that would be just as bad, but Fili added,

"That's a big _if._ She could just as easily Merge with us, whaddya say Megs? Would you rather be a Dwarf? We are a bit short on the pretty ones!" All but Dwalin and Bifur laughed at that. Megan smiled her thanks when Kili said,

"How about a game before we call it a night?" Everyone voiced their agreement on a drinking game, but couldn't agree on which one they wanted to play.

"Ooo! How 'bout 'I never'?" Megan suggested, glad to have the subject of Merging off the table. She told them the rules,then began. "Let's see...I never killed an Orc before we came here." All but her, Fili, Kili, and Ori drank. Then it was Bofurs' turn.

"I never kissed Lady Dis!" Nori was the only one to drink. Fili and Kili looked horrified. The former shrugged.

"She wasn't happy about it, trust me. By the way, your mother's got a good arm!" That didn't make the young heirs of Durin feel any better. More questions followed, like 'I never set fire to a building' to which both Oin and Gloin drank. Another was 'I never doubted Bilbo' and then 'I never drank so much that I got sick in a strangers' house' or 'I never catapulted a chicken into my mothers' kitchen' Then Oin said,

"I never got married." Only Gloin and Bombur, who was still eating whilst sitting on the last remaining table, drank.

"Aww, Bombur! You never told me you were hitched! That's so sweet!" Megan said, the Dwarf in question blushed so bright it rivaled the fire. "Ok my turn, I never trashed Bag End!" Every one of the Dwarves drank, and Ori promptly passed out.

Afterwards, as Bifur and Dori cut everyone off ("You've had enough, we're leaving before first light!" Dori said)

Things began to settle down. Megan lay beside Bofur, almost asleep. Suddenly the latter looked up, gazed at the food in his hand, then back up to his brother, still seated on the table. "Bombur!" He called, throwing the food to him. Bombur caught it, and with a loud groan the table broke and collapsed from under him! Anyone who was sleeping before woke up then, and all who were awake were laughing their butts off. Bofur in paticular rolled to the side, he was laughing so hard. Megan pushed him playfully before catching Fili smirking at the scene from where he sat. '_Get a grip! This is no time for gaga-eyed fairytale drama crap!'_ She thought.

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Someone was poking her again. In the ribs, in the back of the head, in the tummy. Megan was not in the mood.

"That's it, somebody's gettin' their beard plucked!" She threatened sleepily. That only made her companions laugh. Thorin appeared above her with a ghost of a smile on his otherwise grouchy features.

"Come Traveler, we leave in an hour." Was all he said. She sat up and stretched her arms above her head, then caught sight of Bilbo. The Hobbit looked how she felt, only she had a bit of a hangover.

Sneaking out of an Elven city, full of Elves, with their superpower hearing and sight, was the least of their problems. The Bodyguard reluctantly remembered the events of both movie and book, but decided not to tell the others anything. It'd only make things more complicated, put a damper on her friends' spirits, and put her in the awkward position of potential enemy/weird fortune-telling person.

But keeping it to herself was just as hard. They were readying themselves for a long trek, and she wanted nothing more than to bash her head against a wall and scream. Bilbo slowed a bit, she could tell he didn't want to go any further.

"Balin, you know these paths, lead on. Mr. Baggins, try and keep up!" Thorin shouted. Megan walked past him behind Fili and patted his head.

"You know I hate that. Aren't you homesick at all?!" Bilbo asked. She thought about it as they continued.

"Course I am. But I got a job to do, and I'm not even sure I _can_ go home. C'mon Billy, we're too far already to go back on our promises." Bilbo opened his mouth, either to say _'I know that'_ or to protest about the nickname, but he decided against it.

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*Yes, THAT Hoffa. Jimmy Hoffa.

**Though Elrond didn't mention it, never running out applies to electronics & other things besides food. As long as it came from another world & not M.E.

My playlist for this chapter (not necessarly in this order):

Move Along-All American Rejects

First Date-Blink 182

I'm gonna be (500 miles)-The Proclaimers

Absolutely (Story of a Girl)-Nine Days

Bad Day-Daniel Powter

Trouble-P!nk

Anything But Ordinary-Avril Lavigne

I Will Possess Your Heart-Death Cab for Cutie

People Like Us-Kelly Clarkson

Different-Ximena Sarinana

Warrior-Foxes

Kryptonite-3 Doors Down

Crazy-Charles Barkley (or Cee-Lo Green)


End file.
